


Don't Cry

by HandsomeRhysx



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Cancer, Character Death, M/M, Please Don't Hate Me, Sad Ending, This is just sadness and more sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 01:10:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14124876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HandsomeRhysx/pseuds/HandsomeRhysx
Summary: General!AU. Jack is dying of cancer. Gabriel is there to make sure he knows he's loved and cared for.





	Don't Cry

**Author's Note:**

> There’ll be a lot of medical inconsistency in this, I’m no doctor, just had two loved ones that died of cancer; even so, that experience wasn’t enough to learn all the medical mumbo-jumbo. But what I wanted to explore, really, was the emotional side so I guess you can forgive me for not being 100% consistent with medical facts. Or at least I hope so. I just wanted to get rid of this writer’s block.

Jack had good days. Those in-between were the ones which pained Gabriel the most, seeing Jack suffering on that hospital bed with the knowledge that no painkiller would ever suffice. When Jack had his good days, he talked absentmindedly about the beach, about how he missed their home, about how he missed their dogs. Jack used to smile a lot more. Gabriel tries to be strong for both of them, smiles for the both of them. He doesn’t know if Jack buys it, perhaps he’s too tired to protest.

The prognosis from the doctors is not good, cancer has spread too quickly, and the chemo is not being as effective as they wanted it to be. Surgeries are scheduled to prolong Jack’s life, aggressive chemo sessions every other day of the week. His stay at the hospital is necessary, coming back every day and having a nurse twenty-four-seven at home isn’t really ideal. Gabriel refuses to go home even when Jack says he’ll be ok for a few hours. Jack doesn’t push this matter, Gabriel is stubborn and he doesn’t want to fight with his husband, doesn’t really have the energy to. Gabriel eventually gives in when Dr. Akahoshi kicks him out of the room, saying he needs to take care of himself before taking care of his husband.

He comes back with a duffel bag that will last him for one more week. Jack smiles softly when he enters the room and it’s worth all the trouble of going home for a shower and clothes. Gabriel lies down in bed with Jack and holds him close, petting his neck gently; there’s no hair on Jack’s head anymore and Jack doesn’t like to be reminded of it. So Gabriel touches his neck, shoulders, arms, tries to reassure his lover in every way he can within the limits Jack set for him. Jack is glad for it. 

And so their routine goes on like this. Their good days grow thin every week.

Jack looks paler every day, lips chapped and it seems as if the color fades away from them every time he turns away. Sometimes, he refuses to kiss Gabriel, saying there’s no point kissing such ugly and dried lips, and that he’s awful to see. Gabriel doesn’t take no for an answer and proceeds to cover his husband with kisses, saying how beautiful he is even now and reminds him of his marriage vows.

“In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, ‘till death do us part, remember?” Gabriel says with fondness, eyeing Jack with the utmost adoration.

“You’re a silly old man,” Jack laughs, a rare sound these days and Gabriel treasures it like nothing else in the world. “But I suppose you’re right in this one.”

“I’m always right, babe.”

“Now you’re just being arrogant, you asshole,” Jack frowns, but there’s really no heat behind these words. Their conversations usually end with some frivolous banter and Gabriel doesn’t see a problem with it, they keep Jack’s mind busy. Dr. Akahoshi says it’s important due to Jack’s age and some other complications of cancer reaching his brain. She says there’ll be a stage when Jack will experience some difficulty in expressing himself, perhaps even having issues with his speech. So Gabriel keeps him company and talks even when Jack doesn’t want to talk. 

Gabriel keeps on hoping until there’s no more hope. Surgeries are canceled and Gabriel is called to Dr. Akahoshi’s office to have “the talk”. There’s a golden nameplate with Dr. Maya Akahoshi written in standard Helvetica typography, amongst a bunch of photos in glass frames and neatly organized folders. He fidgets with the hem of his black hoodie as he waits for the doctor, getting impatient. When she finally arrives, she has a mug of coffee in her hands and sits comfortably in her leather chair. Comfortable in giving such disgraceful news. Gabriel thinks it’s bad taste to be so comfortable in her own skin giving someone the worst news they could ever receive. He doesn’t say anything about it.

“Mr. Reyes, as we’ve talked before, your husband’s case is severe,” she starts, not even looking him in the eye, just opening a folder in her desk and flipping through some files inside of it. “I’m afraid the surgeries would do more harm than good in his case, he’s already in too much pain. The most we can do in this case is diminish the pain he’s going through, but if you-”

“Could you at least look at me while talking about the life of my husband?” Gabriel croaks, feeling completely small even though he was considerably taller than the petite doctor. “He might be just another patient for you, but he is everything to me.”

The Japanese woman sighs and takes a good swig of her mug, shaking her head. Her features were quite young despite her advanced age, they were stern but with a motherly soft side. While she had a busy day and was quite tired, Mr. Reyes didn’t deserve this treatment from her. So she put her chin on her folded hands and gazed into his deep brown eyes, not smiling, but not giving him an austere expression either. 

“I’m sorry if I gave you that impression, Mr. Reyes,” she continued. “As I was saying, I would advise you to take him home.”

“Take… take him home? What do you mean take him home?” Gabriel’s tone of voice goes up as he gets up from the chair, pointing a finger at the door. “He is sick, how can I take him home?”

“At this point, the chemo is only punishing his body more and more. He can come back for the sessions, of course,” she takes another sip of her beverage, calm as ever. “But he is dying, Mr. Reyes. He’s in terminal stage and there’s not much we can do. I can give you prescriptions for some medications that will alleviate his pain at home.”

Gabriel scoffs, pacing to and fro nervously around the room, and he thinks there’s no way he can take Jack home when he’s so sick. Is she saying take Jack home to… die? Is that what she means to say with this? He won’t accept this. He can’t accept this. They have to do more. He wants more time with Jack. He needs more time with Jack. This is not fair, this is not fair.

When was life ever fair?

“Mr. Reyes, your husband is dealing with a great amount of pain right now. It’s not going to get any better. Let him be in a space that’s comfortable for him, instead of a hospital bed,” the doctor eyes him cautiously, beckoning him to sit down again. He does so. “We needed to keep him here because of the surgeries, but since those are out of question, you can take care of him at home.”

“How…” Gabriel clears his throat, scratching his jaw absentmindedly. “How much longer does Jack has, Doc?”

“I can’t say for sure. Maybe weeks, perhaps two months. Hard to say,” she’s starting to write hastily on some papers, presumably the prescriptions. “It all depends on how much his body can endure. Don’t get your hopes too high, however, because it won’t be long.”

“I see.” 

Gabriel doesn’t see anything. He hardly understands that Jack has such little time on this Earth, to begin with. He doesn’t grasp the concept of outliving his dear husband. They were supposed to grow old together and make fun of each other’s senile idiosyncrasies.Gabriel supposes that they were of a certain age already, but not nearly old enough, he wanted more time. As he comes back to Jack’s room and sees him asleep on the hospital bed, Gabriel notices how much weight Jack has lost in the past months. He is but a small thing in that large hospital bed. An impressive feature for a man that’s over six feet tall. Gabriel hops on the bed and tells himself that he’ll take care of Jack until the end. Even if the end is near.

The morning comes and Jack is happy that he can finally go home. He is fed up with hospital food and the sterile smell and the absurd whiteness everywhere. Jack wants the warm sand colors of his own home, their messy bed and the feel of the crashing sea wave on his feet in the beach behind their house. Jack wants to feel the sunrise and the sunset on his face again, wants to play fetch with Apollo and Bailey and wants to stick his toes into the warm sand. The Australian Shepherds are more than ecstatic to welcome Jack home, even though Gabriel chastises them when they jump too enthusiastically on Jack.

“They’re just happy to see me, Gabe,” Jack says, petting their soft fur. Gabriel grunts and allows the joyous moment between Jack and their dogs. It’s been awhile since they’ve seen each other, Jack has been in the hospital for a long time.

For commodity, Gabriel sets up his office as their bedroom, putting their bed in the spacious room that has floor to ceiling windows with a view to the beach. It’s difficult for Jack to go up the stairs without being exhausted and out of breath, so he doesn’t anymore.

There are days Jack doesn’t want to leave the bed, his pain is too much, he says. Gabriel relents, gives him the space he needs. Sometimes Jack doesn’t want Gabriel near him. Those days hurt Gabriel the most. But Gabriel relents, gives him the space he needs. Jack still needs help to do everything, this takes a hit on his pride and from time to time, he’s angry. Not at Gabriel. At life, perhaps at God. Not at Gabriel. He makes sure Gabriel knows that. Jack is so grateful for having Gabriel in his life, doesn’t know what he would do without him. Still, he’s angry at times, can’t help but be furious at the circumstances. 

Jack stays at the swing in the back of the house almost all of the time, curled up in a quilt his mother gave it to him, watching the sea. Gabriel keeps company while reading a book or sipping on a tea - he much prefers coffee, but since coffee isn’t good for Jack, he forgoes the caffeine for a simple green tea. They talk about their youth, about their life together and their most treasured memories. Gabriel does not cry in front of Jack. He can be strong for both of them. Jack, on the other hand, cries a lot. Gabriel soothes him with soft touches and gentle kisses. I love you so much, Jack, he says. Jack stays silent, throat too constricted to say anything, chest too heavy to say it back. Gabriel knows what his husband wants to say and that’s enough for him.

Until it’s not. Jack’s speech is slurred and he can’t really convey in words what he wants to say. It’s a slow transition and it frustrates Jack the most, he seems utterly confused by it. He cries even more. Gabriel says it’s going to be ok. It’s not going to be ok, it’s only downhill from there. He lies. But it makes Jack feel better, so he says with unmitigated conviction.

They still go to the chemo sessions at the hospital. Jack comes back feeling awful from every single one of them. He wants to stop going to the hospital altogether, he just wants some peace and quiet at his home. Gabriel begs him to reconsider, Jack doesn’t give him an inch.

They don’t go to the chemo sessions at the hospital anymore. At some point, Jack doesn’t leave the bed anymore. His breathing is irregular and he needs an oxygen concentrator at all times, his chest does a lot of noise too. Gabriel calls Dr. Akahoshi and she tells him it’s normal, but if he would like, he should hire a nurse to help him in these final moments. He chokes when she says final moments and goes silent for a few lingering seconds.

“You knew this time would come, Mr. Reyes. I can recommend an excellent nurse to help you in this difficult transition.”

“Difficult transition. Is that what you doctors call death these days?” Gabriel scoffs.

“It will be a difficult transition in your life, Mr. Reyes, to see your husband only getting worse and worse. I’m trying to soothe the situation.”

“Yeah… I know. I’m sorry. Text me the contact of this nurse, I’ll call them in the morning.”

The nurse that comes in the next day is a man called Lúcio, setting up some stuff that makes the room seem more of a hospital than before. There’s an IV and Lúcio explains that he’ll give a small dose of Morphine to Mr. Morrison to make the breathing easier, plus it makes the pain a bit better to deal with. Lúcio says that from now on, the IV is important because Mr. Morrison will feel less and less comfortable eating or ingesting liquids, but he’ll still try to do it. Lúcio also says that even though Mr. Morrison will sleep more than be conscious, don’t stop talking to him, those moments are really precious. Gabriel knows. He thanks the nurse and sits in the armchair by the bed.

Jack’s hands feel chill to the bone now. His body feels fragile, so weak. Gabriel just wants to hold him through the night and he does so when Jack allows him to do it, the bed is still big enough for the two of them. 

One night, Jack wakes up at three AM and nudges Gabriel with his elbow. Gabriel wakes up promptly, his sleep always light these days, worried that Jack would need something from him. Jack is looking at him with those compelling  blue eyes, a hint of a smile in those thin faded lips, moonlight making his skin paler than it actually was and his cheekbones a bit more prominent due to his loss of weight - still, Gabriel thinks he’s the most beautiful, dazzling man he’s ever laid his eyes on. He just wants to keep these instants forever on his mind, of his Jack, of his precious lover, of his best friend. Because soon, he won’t have these small moments to savor.

“Gabe. Don’t cry,” Jack says quietly, arduously, tripping with the intonation of the words. “When I go, don’t cry, ok?”

“Can’t promise anything, old man,” Gabe smiles, caressing his lover’s jaw tenderly.

“Death smells like gasoline,” Jack sighs, closing his eyes. Gabriel is confused. Dr. Akahoshi says that toward the end, Jack would say things that wouldn’t make much sense. Gabriel guesses this is one of these things. “I like gasoline. Makes the pain go away.”

“What makes the pain go away, sweetheart?”

“The gasoline. The angel knows.”

“Ok, Jack.”

“Gabe?”

“Yes, Jack?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Jack.”

This is the last conversation they have. Gabriel tells himself is enough and at the same time, it’s not enough. The next few days, Jack slips into unconsciousness and Gabriel still talks to him about a variety of things, but he knows he won’t listen to Jack’s voice anymore. Lúcio says all they can do is make sure Mr. Morrison is comfortable. Gabriel says thank you and holds Jack’s cold hand. One day, Jack slowly stops breathing as his body stops functioning altogether. Gabriel doesn’t know if he’s in shock or if he’s been expecting that, but he doesn’t shed a single tear when that happens. Lúcio comes in and takes out the IV from Jack, Gabriel sits on the bed and holds Jack’s body close to him. It’s unreal that this lifeless body is his husband, now deceased.

Gabriel does not cry.

The funeral takes place on the same day, close friends and family come to pay their respect. Gabriel does not have the heart to have an open casket, exposing his husband’s fragile and weak appearance at his last moments. Everyone says how strong Gabriel must’ve been to take care of Jack. Such a young man, such an awful illness.

Gabriel does not cry.

As he comes home, full of memorabilia and echoes of Jack in every corner of the house, he tries not to succumb to his emotions. Gabriel tries his best not to tear up. He sits down on the sofa, wraps himself in the quilt Jack’s mother gave him. It still smells like Jack. He takes a deep breath and gets up, not wanting to torture himself any further. Gabriel takes two steps and sees a picture on a shelf, taken a few years ago when they went to Aspen for a ski vacation.

“I thought you said you hated snow,” Jack had said, laughing as he set the phone to take a photo of them thoroughly packed for the cold.

“Hmmm, I do, snow still sucks.”

“Then why did you buy tickets to Aspen then, you fool?”

“Because you love snow!” Gabriel retorted, smiling.

The memory is a fond one, such a precious one that Gabriel can’t help but lower his walls and break his promise to Jack just once.

Gabriel falls down on his knees and weeps like a child.

Jack is gone.

**Author's Note:**

> Lemme know what you think in the comments below! As usual, comments and kudos keep me going! ♥
> 
> [my twitter](http://twitter.com/_rhysx) | [my tumblr](http://handsomerhysx.tumblr.com)


End file.
